September 27 2019 – For Ira

Where once there were two chairs, now there is one. Whereone chair once two people still passionately in love after 36 years sat and chatted with their morning coffee, now there is one.

Today would have been your 84th birthday. And today marks 14 months to the day since your gentle soul left your damaged body.

I still reach for you at night.

I still save up thoughts to share with you.

I still call to you to come and see the moon sparkling on the bay.

On the anniversary of your death, some close friends gathered with me at the beach to scatter the last of your ashes. They shared loving and sweet stories about you.

Your friends love you still.

Your friends miss you.

Your friendGull Iras have cared for me these long  months.

While we sat under an umbrella and shared stories about you. A gull perched on a piling behind me. He only flew away when we started gathering our things to leave.

Was that you, my love? You always said that you would come back as a bird.

For weeks after you died, the dogs cried at the door waiting for you, missing you.

For weeks after you died the dogs would run to the car when I came home.

They looked at me wondering where their Daddy was.

Twice  in the last year, I scattered your ashes with our children.

Once we scattered your ashes under a grand tree at the Dallas Science Museum.

Once we scattered your ashes at a beach in Southern California, chosen for its rock infused cliff.

For weeks after you died, I could not breathe. Could not eat, could not think

I still reach for you at night.

I still save up thoughts to share with you.

I still call to you to come and see the moon sparkling on the bay.

And I always will.

Ira Christmas 2017

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