These were the words of frinds and family when we sold our house, had the mother of garage sales and left for points south of the border.
Befroe we left San Jose, Ca in 2000, there had been, in our upscale, vintage neighborhood, two murders. There were break ins and car thefts. There were also community picnics, and the annual San Jose Mercury News 10K run came down our street.
It was a wonderful place to lice with frinedly neighbors, cafes, and restaurants.
No one warned us about living in a dangerous place.

Yes, there is drug violence in Mexico. And most of it is fighting among the cartels, much like the Prohibition days of the 1920s.
If you are a tourist in any city in the world there are seedy places that you are warned to steer clear of.
Back in the 90’s , before they were married, my son-in-law came from South Dakota to meet my daughter. They went together to San Francisco. He was mugged.
No one at the South Dakota Secretary of State’s office put out a warning to it’s citizens not to go to San Francisco.
18 million Americans traveled to Mexico last year. did you hear about anything bad happening to them?

Where is the proof of all of this supposed crime, that cause sthe US Department of State to waen people away from an entire country. A country that welocmes tourists and has the most beautiful beaches in the world?
Where is the proof that you will be, shot or kidnapped while soaking up the sun on a white sand beach?
Watch this video and look at a map, and see where the drug related crime is and where you will most likley be visiting.

Valentine’s Day, or as we say it in La Paz; Dia de Amor.
When my kids were young (pre-teen through high school) I always purchased cupcakes for every season. I would put them under a cheese dome in the center of the table, and there they would sit until dinner time.

Of course there were other treats throughout the day, but the cupcakes, well they were the ultimate treat!
One year Bubbie, (Yiddish for Gramma), my sweet, late mother-in-law was staying the weekend. At dinner she was the first to choose a cupcake. She turned the plate, removed the dome, and looked for the cupcake with the most icing! She who eschewed treats and sugar and used to follow me around reading excerpts from Prevention Magazine about the evils of coffee, had to have the most of the sugary icing dyed red with red dye #1!

Well here I am in Mexico, and missing out on the usual exchange of Valentine’s in the mail, and treats at the office and a dinner out.

Since my birthday is also in February, on the 21st, my beloved and I usually visited Calistoga in the Napa Valley for a weekend of mud baths, massages and good food. This was after the kids had flown the coop.
We would do this or visit Carmel, or do both each on a separate weekend in February.
The gardens and garden shops in both Carmel and Calistoga would be bursting with Spring blooms. And hanging planters and wine barrels all dripping in color.

And the curb strip in front of my San Jose home would be blooming with 1,000 daffodils.
And just to make sure I had enough daffodils, I also planted bulbs in front of my neighbor’s house.
How I miss Spring flowers.

The other day I was in Chedraui, the main grocery store in La Paz and right before my eyes was a display of the loveliest potted tulips. I did not hesitate; I grabbed two pots of these luscious blooms. One pot for my office and one for the dining room table.
And here they are:

And when my beloved came home for lunch is said “Oh sweet darling thank you for the tulips!”
And he said “ So I don’t have to go to town and buy you one of those readymade flower arrangements they sell on the corners?” “I am disappointed.”

Don’t believe him for a minute, he was relieved.
And so to chase the” I am not in California anymore blues”, I decorate my house for every season.
And tomorrow I’ll show you what I did for Valentine’s Day.
Feliz Dia de Amor!

Happy Halloween to those that celebrate it!

1. While the cat’s away the geckos take over!

2. Having a break between big sewing projects fabuloso!

3. Children are grown, married and in a different country.
4. A dip in the pool, naked when I get home from work or shopping or what have you.

5. This may seem odd, but Tequila really does have medicinal qualities.

6. The work week is over and that seems like a fine idea to me!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching some US television with my beloved, having chocolate, tomorrow my plans include private drinks and tapas at Casa Coctel on the hill overlooking the Gulf of California with another couple, and listening to jazz and Sunday, I want to enjoy breakfast out with friends at La Marmolera!

Photo by Claude Vogel of MexSense

What If The Shoe Was On The Other Foot? Some Thoughts On Violent Crime And Tourism
Posted: 07 Oct 2010 05:12 PM PDT
By Lola
What if CNN headlines blared “Drug Violence Claims 4 Lives In Popular Vacation Destination” every time a gang-banger (any color, any race) shot up a rival gang’s sidewalk in Los Angeles? What if Fox News ran a constant ticker that read “Murder Chose Chicago 131 Times This Year” and held forms discussing why the city should be boycotted? (In fact, September in that city ended last week with 30 homicides. Nearly 20% of the victims were teens.) Should travel warnings be issued for the Windy City? Should we close up California because, according to the LAPD, even though overall gang crimes fell 12.2 percent, 31 more people were shot [this year] in suspected gang crimes, an increase of 4.9 percent?
I wouldn’t be lying if I said the US has more violence than other first-world countries—and that’s been a fact even before drug use in this country escalated to the point where every enterprising dealer south of the border wanted a piece of the action. We have more robberies, rapes and assaults here. We glorify violence in our movies and our TV shows. We breed serial killers. Meth labs are popping up like daisies in the suburbs (and we all know how sweet and mellow meth-heads can be). We are now even venturing into suicide promotion with the sudden spike of bullying in our schools.
So… honestly. Where are our travel warnings?
Are you mad yet? You should be. This is a great country. It’s a beautiful country. And if you stay away from the scary section of town, if you don’t deal drugs, if you aren’t a hooker and you steer clear of shady bars, chances are you’ll have a ball and be safe as houses in every city, coast to coast. It’s not a guarantee, though, because even in this great nation of ours, innocent lives have been claimed in crossfire. But the police scanners certainly won’t keep me from enjoying the fall weather along the Navy Pier in Chicago or spending a weekend of pure fun in Los Angeles.

So why should I cancel my visit to Puerto Vallarta? Or forget my plans to visit Mexico City for a week?
I shouldn’t. And neither should you.
Yes, be careful. Yes, take normal precautions. No, don’t go to the locus of the cartels for a drive or a drink.
I know I’m not the only one out there who thinks this way. I’m not a lone voice in the wilderness, but sometimes it sure feels that way. So, I’m doing what I can with the tools I have.
Here are just a couple of links from like-minded people. I know there are many more of you out there. Raise your voice. Let it be heard. Thousands upon thousands of people in Mexico depend on tourism for their livelihood. People who can’t feed their children become desperate. And we all know about desperate people. Please help reverse this desperation by looking beyond the headlines.Thanks for your time.
Lola
The Economist blog:Mexico Safer Than Canada?
Mexico Boutique Hotels Blog: Mexico Safer than the United States

And today I am talking about an article in the Building Baja Newsletter This is the title:
Hey Boys, Why Dating a Hot Mexican Girl May Not Be as Fun Or Easy as it Sounds

This is written by Cathy Brown, who states that she is a writer: Well she needs to learn some grammar.
And secondly, she needs to wake up and smell the century.

I read the article. I thought it would be a cautionary tale about a certain class of young Mexican women and a certain class of over-the-hill, horny and misguided Gringo men. Here’s the tale that needs to be plastered on billboards, then we’ll get back to Ms. Brown’s article.

These Gringo men seek out young, sexy Mexican girls the way some men seek out young sexy Asian girls and for the same reason: they think these girls are submissive, pliable and will perform sexually. And Ms. Brown is right in one aspect: many young women find older foreign men alluring. But,they also think these men are rich, because they can go to the ATM and get money any time they want.

These men look like idiots with their grey pony tails, stringy arms and spindly legs, squiring a fresh young thing around town. And they do idiotic things like have babies with their new found love. Many of these old farts buy houses and put the property in their new wife or girlfriend’s name. They don’t want to pay the fees to own their property the right way in Mexico. Next thing you know, besotted Gringo is divorced, has no home and is on the hook for child support for 18 years. Their young love has discovered many truths about thier man and one being they are not rich.
Do I feel sorry for them? Not at all? Do I think they are stupid…you betcha!
Does this really happen here? More often than you would think.
Should these men be warned: well yes, but they don’t listen. They are not thinking with the head that houses their brain.
Should the girls be warned? OF course. They are young and in love and cannot think either.

Now Ms. Brown talks about opening doors for your new love, being a real Casanova, whispering endearments, giving long, bedroom-eyed looks,(and faking the romance while trying not to laugh) and walking on the street side.

And she suggests doing this on the first meeting.
Puhlease!

And she suggests that heavy necking in public, and nuzzling even at the piano recital of your love’s little sister is expected and accepted. Not at any Mexican family gathering, or piano recital that I have attended in the last 10 years.

My Mexican women friends find the sexy boob-popping clothes, stiletto heels and skin tight jeans sported by some Mexican girls as silly as the girls look trying to navigate the potholes, bumps and puddles on La Paz sidewalks.

The Mexican women in my life: my hairdresser, my cleaning woman, my scientist and doctor friends, my lawyer, my architect, the designer I have recently met, would be as offended by this silly article as I am.

Dating between cultures has it’s hitches and glitches, but treating another person as your equal, engaging them in relevant conversation, and learning about their dreams, and interests is what builds a relationship. Not silly Telly Novella mooning and swooning.

What is scary about this article, is that Ms. Brown brags about being a mother, then proceeds to tell boys to fake romance and move fast on a young girl. Does she tell them what comes next? Does she warnt them to keep their pants zipped? No and no.

Any man that came on to a confident competent woman by following Ms. Brown’s advice would find himself alone in a hurry.
Any man or boy that comes on strong with a young, impressionable girl will find themsleves parenting their young love and a baby.
And by the way guys (old and young): babies are made the same way south of the border as in the old country…use a condom.
Do you want to really know how to date Hot Mexican Girls? Take them to an air conditioned restaurant and TREAT THEM WITH RESPECT.

I am back! For those of you, my loyal readers, and new ones too, it is true I disappeared. My blog was hacked and malware installed.

 No matter how many times we cleaned it, more malware was there.

  Finally we took the entire blog down and re-started it!

Hackers are criminals. They are malicious, nasty, selfish and immature. What they do is worse than vandalism, worse than trespassing. What they do is more like character assassination. Their actions make it look like their victim has done something wrong.

 My blog was banned from Twitter and I was sent a less than friendly message by the Twitter admin team. I did nothing wrong!

So I am back, do you like the new look of the blog?

 I do! My darling daughter did the work!

 I will be blogging about life in Mexico, and anything else in the world that catches my attention.

 Did you miss me?

 I missed you.

 So please let me know you are there, leave comments.

 I’ll answer them.

But I will not answer or approve those sent by black hat bloggers blogging for companies trying to get back links off my site.

 I am back, I hope you are too!